One girl and one boy is just not enough.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
time to smoke my breakfast
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
