dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
