Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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