I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
