sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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