lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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