I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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