i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
