This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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