I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
