he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
should my penis look like a turkey
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
