doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
