he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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