Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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