How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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