So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm too high and old for this...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
