so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
