youre lurking in front of me
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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