Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
