I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
