I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
