She said her name was "party"
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
