didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
