ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
