Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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