I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
