You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Even my vagina gasped.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
