he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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