I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
