I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize