that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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