Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
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