I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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