Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
