I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
