Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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