we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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