I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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