I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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