are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize