awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize