Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
