remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
