Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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