dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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