first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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