guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
