I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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