You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
How drunk are you?
Completed.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
