he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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