I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
now i know why i became what i already was.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
