return my video game
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
