is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
