If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
