The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
cat food counts as protein by the way
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
