She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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