i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
