I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
