I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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